[i have a crush]

Yesterday I was in the studio from 11 a.m. until 10 p.m. I worked with my Lantern Study in Smalti for class and am really happy with how it is progressing. I enjoyed some breaks with Geelite and some L.A.M.B. on the ipod. It was pleasant and I wish I could be there now.

During one of my breaks with Geelite, we sat on the sculpture terrace surrounded by giant pieces of stone and random discarded sculptures when I suddenly noticed the hands. The strong stone hands that The Boyfriend had carved years ago, while still a grad student. They were chiseled to perfection, arked in a supporting position (they originally held pieces of bone).

Then I began to remember that time and how much I crushed on this boy.

And how much he crushed on me.

I remembered the way his big defined muscles looked so perfect under his tightly rolled up t-shirt sleeves. I remembered his jeans, covered in clay, and his rugged workboots. I remembered his facial hair, and the way he carried a cup of coffee when he walked down the hall. I remembered the way he sat with one leg resting on the knee of the other, agenda book resting on leg and cigarette in hand. I remembered the way he would speak. I remembered the smell of the studio on those days. The way the terrace doors sound when they close. The way clay and cigerettes smell on the fingertips. I remembered the butterflies in my stomach when I would be dumping slurry and see him walk by. I remembered the way he looked haunched over his wheel, throwing the most masculine of forms with the most delicate of hands. I remembered that feeling of knowing that he was mine. The arms, the boots, the agenda book, the rolled up sleeves.

I love that those carved hands are still there. That we're still there.